The Violence in Relationship by Antonietta Paglia

22 May, 2014

Dear readers of BYOU MAG, Welcome back to read the new episode of the “In-Social”. This month I draw inspiration from a touchy subject, unfortunately widespread and cross in our society, past and today: violence in relationships.
Violence is often the tip of  iceberg: many times it all starts from the feelings of frustration and anger that we harbor toward ourselves and others. The basis of all relationships lies in the proper education. The school, the family, the parish of the district, educators, institutions: years ago they had the task of educating , everyone according to their specificity, children and teenagers.
In recent decades, with the advent of radical and inevitable changes in society, the so-called “educational agencies” mentioned above, have gradually reduced their task. But I would omit definitions and literature, and offer the reading of key points, stimuli that are the basis of good and upright structuring of our “I” and as a result of our family and our society; a sort of handbook dedicated to men and women. At the end of article I collected some information and practical guidance.

1) The equation “equal love, annulment and repression of our needs” is totally wrong ; love is pleasure and joy, to add and don’t detract

2) Moms: educate your daughters about the right ambition and teach them to express themselves with the right assertiveness

3) Dad : Don’t fall into the trap of househusband, of dad as a friend or to be too sweet: the mother brings the child IN THE WORLD, his father takes him IN THE WORLD. The father figure has to teach his son to stand in society and to adapt to the social rules. Moms : Your sons are not principles, you be the first a sound model woman to inspire, you check off age pretentions of your children and blocks the excessive solicitude toward your adult children.

4) PARENTS: No to the rigid perception of gender roles and their pernicious stereotypes.

5) Let’s appreciate the pleasure of being alone with ourselves for a long period of our lives, we learn to know us each other, we cultivate our personal growth and nourish our souls: only if we recognize ourselves, our value may also recognize other.

6) Let’s don’t fall into the trap of the steps imposed by society, that see us half women if within a certain age we aren’t in twosome and offspring; the desire “twosome at all costs” increases the possibility of choosing the wrong partner.

7) Stop with the “Florence Nightingale syndrome”, I will save you, or the figure of the macho and the prince charming who will give us the turning point in our lives: the relationships have to be egalitarian.

8) Learn how to pick up and read immediately sends negative signals that our partner send us, you don’t justify or belittle

9) We make us as economically independent as possible, don’t isolate our couple and not isolate us in our family, we always keep the reins of our lives.

10) School, family, educational figures: let’s teach to our children since an early age, the education affectiverelational.

Below I list toll-free numbers set up by the national Ministry of Equal Opportunities :
– 114 – Emergency Minor
– 1522 National Anti-Violence Network
– 800 901010 Racial Discrimination
– 800 290290 Anti-Trafficking

Stumble the site of telephone Rosa , great service with more regional offices : www.telefonorosa.it

In this link a complete list of Italian anti-violence centers:
http://www.vitadidonna.it/salute/violenza/centriantiviolenza.html

Finally , I point out some sites very well made on a type of violence recently (re) met and discussed, that of women against men :

– www.uomini3000.it
– associazionefamiliaristi.it

Many ideas, many reflections …..
Until next time

Antonietta Paglia

http://pagliantonietta.wix.com/socialmet
https://www.facebook.com/socialmetservizisocialiprivati